Walking is healthy for the mind
Every day I make an effort to try and walk 10k steps. Sometimes I fail, but more often than not (especially recently) I have exceeded my goals. Being the animal lover I am (in an apartment that doesn’t allow pets) I always make an effort to go animal spotting. It is kind of like sport, almost like dogspotting. Just look at this cute black crowned night heron I saw at my favorite local park.
Anyway, on these walks my mind often wonders and I invariably end up thinking about Perpetual Education and my teammates. Because we have a daily standup in our shared slack space, we have a daily chance to address problems and find solutions. Some of my teammates have been awfully quite! I hope they are OK.
Today during standup, a couple of my teammates expressed difficulties in their personal life that were distracting them from their web design homework. Also mentioned was the crippling self doubt that comes along with learning any new skill (worth learning atleast!)
Well, I am here to tell you that WE ALL have those feelings. I know I did, and still do. When Derek found me over on Quora, well… let’s just say I really was not in a good place in my life. My self-esteem was in the tank, or even like… negative self-esteem (if that is even possible).
Heron is the symbol of determination
If you’ve read my past blog posts, you know I was unsuccessful for years trying to learn web design on my own. Even with the support and experience of Derek, I didn’t initially believe I could learn this stuff. And let me tell you, that really slowed my progress down.
It led to task avoidance (the task being whatever we were learning together at the time), homework pilling up on each other, depression, anxiety, increased tics ( I have tourette’s).. I mean I can go on, nothing good came of it.
Self-doubt makes everything more difficult. If confidence is like lubrication, Self-doubt is the absence of it. It just leads to more friction, pain, and things taking longer. I am not saying you need to delude yourself, just give yourself credit for how far you have come. And have faith in yourself.
I like symbols (and animals, clearly), and something inside me told me to look up what herons symbolize. I’ve put the pertinent bits in bold.
According to trusted psychic mediums
Your heron totem also puts the focus on your resourcefulness. Because like your heron spirit animal, you make things happen even if you have so little to work with, and even if the odds are against you.
The heron symbolizes stillness and tranquility, and how these two things are needed to recognize opportunities. It also signifies determination, because there will be plenty of marshes and ponds that you will wade through in life as well.
The meaning of the heron speaks about your sense of independence. It prefers to hunt alone than with a mate or a group, but it’s a solitary bird that can also flourish when with a crowd.
Solitude can be good for you, and being alone can teach you so many things. However, you cannot do everything by yourself, so be open to receive help from others from time to time.
I couldn’t help but see parallels between my own journey as a web designer. I didn’t fully utilize the resources available on the internet, but instead chose to go the journey alone in a highly gamified system that had all the important stuff (i.e file paths!) abstracted away.
I was more focused on getting my code to pass the automated tests than understanding any of the concepts. When my tests didn’t pass I became depressed and highly anxious.
Now, I still have those moments but not as severe. And when I am feeling anxious and that self-doubt begins to creep in (I know my triggers now so I can see it coming at this point!) I can always reach out to my teammates for help. I would encourage you to do the same
Stress is a part of life, it will always be there. As you gain confidence and experience (they are so intertwined) you will better be able to handle these bumps in the road. In the meantime, make the best use of your time and resources. I will do my best to follow my own advice too ;)
Thank you Marco!
We have herons all around Downtown Oakland. "Stillness" "tranquility" and "determination" are definitely fitting descriptions of them! Great read, Marco. And thanks for the encouragement as always!